Skip to main content

Caregiving: Caring for the Caregiver



Caregiving is no easy job. People often say that motherhood is the hardest job on earth, and I have to believe that teachers, and caregivers are right up there in the ranks. Like the saying goes on an airplane, "if you’re travelling with passengers who need assistance, put your own mask on first before assisting other passengers.” That statement could not be more true when caring for a loved one, but often caregivers forgo taking care of themselves as they don't want to feel guilty or feel selfish. 

What is the reasoning for this? Well, if the caregiver doesn't take care of his/herself, there will be no one to take care of the patient! You will be unconscious, or even dead, from the fumes and burn out. There is a big difference between being selfish and self-care. Selfishness is acting only in your best interest and not others' interests. But self-care ultimately is in others' interests as you are the best version of yourself and able to give to others once you respect yourself enough to slow down and care for yourself. And let's face it, you cannot give of yourself if you have an empty tank. 

What are some basic tips for caregivers? Well, lets get b-a-s-i-c. How is your sleeping? How is your eating? When was the last time you went for a walk or exercised?  When do you have time scheduled for self-care? Do you have a self-care plan? Make a list of things that are comforting to you and post it where you can see it. Choose one of these things a day and be intentional about caring for yourself. A few examples include: pets, massage, a hobby, cooking, listening to music, your favorite TV show...All of the above questions are great places to start when you are faced with caregiving. To end, I am going to list some great caregiving resources from the web, and encourage you to comment on this post if you have other resources to add. We have these uploaded to our website which we continue to update as we hear of other valuable sites. 

Family Caregiver Alliance: Dedicated to those who care for a loved one with a chronic, disabling condition. Website includes multiple resources for information, education, services, research, and advocacy.
Family Caregiving 101: Resource for those caring for a loved one with a chronic condition Includes a message board.
Today's Caregiver: Website for Today's Caregiver magazine. Links to local resources, care tips, newsletters and more.
Well Spouse Association: The Well Spouse Association advocates for and addresses the needs of individuals caring for a chronically ill and/or disabled spouse/partner.

Popular posts from this blog

So You Have IBD During a Pandemic

Hey! What's going on? Been pretty boring over here in Chicago. Ok I don't need to elaborate on what the hell is going on in the world. We are being bombarded with information - some accurate, a lot inaccurate - about this pandemic. It's very easy to become completely overwhelmed by it all. We've been forced, pretty damn quickly, to completely overhaul our way of life for the greater good. To reduce the strain on our healthcare system of the sick and dying. And us humans are generally bad with rapid, monumental change that we really don't have a lot of say in. Our little reptilian brains do what they're supposed to do (prime us for fight or flight or freeze) but our advanced "thinking" parts of our brain have to interject with all sorts of unhelpful thoughts, thereby sending some of us off the rails. Before we start, turn off the news. Seriously. In the days following 9-11 we found people who consumed more 24-hour news channel information were mor

Psychosocial aspects of having an ostomy

This past Saturday, Tiffany and I had the honor of speaking at the United Ostomy Associations of America's Regional Midwest conference. I was assigned the task of speaking to the patients, and Tiffany addressed the partners or caregivers. I wanted to share with you some of the highlights from my talk. I only had an hour for my session, and with about 100 people in the room, it was not nearly enough time. I love bullet points, so here you go: We are all different! Every ostomate is different and not one size fits all for the emotional/mental aspect either. Who had months to talk about an ostomy and weigh pros/cons? Who was this a more sudden decision for? Who had cancer? Who had IBD? Something else? Who had an ileostomy? colostomy? urostomy? Who has a temporary? Permanent? Multiple temporaries? What age where you when you got your ostomy? Under 20, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60+ Who was single when they got their ostomy? With a serious partner when they had it? Some find a stom

IBD & Medical Trauma

Medical trauma is such an under-recognized issue for the chronnically ill. It's a hard topic to talk about because it can seem like we are pointing fingers at healthcare workers. Maybe that's why there are only, now, 4 studies on the topic in patients with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). If you are someone who treats people with IBD please know I am not here to demonize or criticize. I am both a patient and a GI psychologist. I know the medical system from both sides. I know how messed up and broken it is. But ignoring this or rationalizing it away as only affecting a few folks is wrong. So let's talk about it. Post-traumatic stress (PTS) is the term we use for medical trauma due to technicalities in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM-5) for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTS can be less severe that full on PTSD, or it can be full on PTSD. Regardless, the symptoms are identical: Feeling hypervigilant/on-edge (increased